Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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