That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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