Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
