shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Mom said you looked used
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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