There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
