She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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