No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
