How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Acid is not a monday night drug
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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