Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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