Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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