Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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