Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
