Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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