someone get that fucking seahorse.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
im six kinds of drunk right now
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize