I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize