I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
