i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
