What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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