You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
