who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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