We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
