my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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