i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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