I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
