you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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