i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
