She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
