You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
