I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
