youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
