I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
