i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
