I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize