Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
