In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
