big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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