I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
