PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
