Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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