I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize