Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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