I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize