is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
