And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
