Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Randomize
