don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
