And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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