Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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