so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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