i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
