god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
