toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize