It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
