These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
