he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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