Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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