i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
