$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
