It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
this just has baby written all over it
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
