shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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