I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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