I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
