Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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