did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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