I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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