Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
