What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
